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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

No, a plastic cover can't fix this disaster. 

We have all been culprits—keeping furniture for far too long, far too many times. You, dear reader, are not the first, and definitely will not be the last. Those rips in your sofa do not add as much character as you think, and that raggedy old lamp just does not light up the room like it used to—but we’re here to help. Here are five telltale signs it is time to go shopping for new furniture:

1. The rips in your sofa are so big, that if it were a person, you would be shaking the doctor’s hand and making funeral arrangements.

Okay, so you and your sofa have been through some of your favorite memories together—but let’s face it…it has more scraps and cuts than a six year old that just learned how to bike ride. Do yourself a favor and stop marinating in its open sores.

2. The shade on your lamp is so transparent that it is like not having a lampshade at all.

Some people like bright light, but chances are, if you have a lampshade, you are not one of those people.

3. People tell you your home is “so [insert insulting decade here].”

If someone tells you your apartment has such an “80s style” and you were born in 1994, trust me, it isn’t a good thing. Make your furniture current.

4. Your guests would rather stand than sit.

No one REALLY likes to stand all night—trust me, this is a cry for help.

5. You finally went on Pinterest and uttered the words “wait…that’s real?!”

Yes. It is real. It is all real. All of these glorious furniture pieces exist, and are calling your name—answer them.